Why I am wearing red this year

It is not because I hate trans people. It isn’t because I don’t know any trans people, or don’t know that they come to fest anyway. It isn’t because I am not kind, sweet, loving, big-hearted, or that I don’t believe in “transgender” as a legitimate identity and way of being in the world. 

I do know our biology informs our lives, beginning before we are even born. I know patriarchy is real and has a huge impact on males and females alike, and I believe that female only space is a way to start healing some of the damage done to females in patriarchy. I think it is the responsibility of oppressed people to work on their healing in ways that are meaningful and effective, and Michigan Womyn’s Music Festival is that healing space for thousands of females. It also isn’t that I don’t think trans people want or deserve healing, maybe even the kind of healing I find at fest. I absolutely support trans people in their journey and their healing process, just as I would hope for (but don’t really expect, at this point) support in mine. 

Over the years, I have thought about the issue of trans women and trans men at fest. I began without a firm opinion. I visited Camp Trans, read handouts, talked to trans folks in the line, and did readings at home as well as talked to festies and trans people I know. I listened, and I formed my opinion. I do believe that changing the intention to include anyone who identifies as a woman diminishes the positive healing space we have. The past two festivals have cemented my opinion and created in me a need to use my voice. I’m not always articulate when I feel strong emotions, and festival always brings on strong emotions in me. At first, this made me afraid but I am working to embrace these strong feelings in my life and allow myself to sit with those feelings while I work on articulating them.

So I am wearing red because I support the intention of fest as wbw space. I don’t think it needs to be redefined to “modern” definitions of “woman” because I think everyone knows what is meant but our language and words are being used against us. Continuously redefining “woman”, “lesbian” and “dyke” is only going to hurt females. Over the years I saw Yellow Armbands and TWBH buttons and tshirts, I saw TWBH supporters jump on stage. And last year for the first time, womyn who need and support healing space for females finally had a way to show it. The color red was chosen because it is recognizable and it is symbolic of female blood, shed through violence and through our biology. And the accusations began, that “wbw are being aggressive, are making it feel like gang colors, are making (TWBH supporters) feel bad” by simply wearing the color red. I have had enough of being the good girl and not speaking out when I disagree because I didn’t want to make waves. Womyn who support the intention have been afraid to speak up, afraid to disagree because of the reactions from people who would change the intention of festival as female only space. We are not the aggressors. We are only using our voices, as best as we can, even though we may be afraid.

Fest Culture

How does one describe the culture of a community?  The "rules" both written and unwritten, the policies and procedures so to say, the roles and responsibilities.  What else is there?  It seems like more than this.  I think fest is the first community I have joined with a conscious understanding that I am entering a culture different from mine and it has taken me years to grasp how different.  This is of course due to my white, hetero, middle class privilege.  I have certainly visited other cultures but not with the sense that I am actually joining.  Fest is anything but mainstream.  The way is operates has been described to me and operating under feminist principles, and I've only just started to scratch the surface at understanding what that means.  I have trouble imagining non-hierarchy, living with intention rather than rules, outside of the fest community.  Asking rather than enforcing.  It isn't easy.

I am posting a photo from my very first fest.  The womon is naked, and I asked if I could take the photo.  She gave me permission, and I feel comfortable using it here because she isn't identifiable.  So much of fest culture is changing with technology.  I'm not sure it will continue to hold the same value for me it has in the past.  Photos and video are posted on the internet without regard for the request that privacy be respected.  Last year a professional photographer used a photo of womyn at fest in a show, including topless womyn and not getting permission from them.  I am hoping to learn more about this intentional community by joining the workers on crew.  I feel I have much to learn.  I am a very flawed person, trying to get better and learn how to be a good friend, a good member of my chosen community.

Going to michfest has been a form of radical self care.  It is radical for several reasons.  First, shedding my heteronormative, capitalistic, consumerist self.  That is radical, to peel away the patriarchy which seems to cling like sunburned skin, itching to be scratched, feeling the pleasure of peeling it away and wincing when it pulls too hard, places we are more attached.  We are attached to our oppression in ways we don't understand, can't see until we are separated from it.  

A fest friend is debating whether to come to fest again this year without her partner or buy a boat, which she and her partner can share and enjoy together.  No contest for me:  fest.

Sometimes I wonder what kind of grooming happens on the land while we are away.  I know no one lives there, no one does any "caretaking" of the trees and fields out of season.  But what does it take to get the land ready for all of us to come and camp?  It seems so perfect for our use, how can that just happen?  In any event, the choice to purchase that exact property was well made and it suits us ideally.  The water is delicious, the trees are gorgeous, the camping under the trees is comfortable and easy, and there is enough open space to enjoy everything.


Michigan Womyn's Music Festival, Michfest, MWMF

Every stage performance as well as the Sunday day stage has comedians.  Sometimes they are MCs for the show and sometimes they have their own slots.  I have only made it to the Sunday show one time due to work shifts or leaving fest on Sunday.  This past year I was able to see Suzanne Westenhoefer, she was very good.  Karen Williams has grown on me.  I didn't care much for her comedy at first, but over time I have come to appreciate her more.  No one makes me laugh like Elvira.  She seriously hurts me with humor, my whole body aches from the laughing.  She makes fun of us festies in a way that is so sharp, yet it only makes sense because I get the sense that she is truly one of us.  I wonder if all her audiences feel that way?  If so, she is a fucking genius.  By the way, I chose this picture of her from the internet because she looks really hot in that shirt.  And I know she would like that.

Michigan Womyn's Music Festival, Michfest, MWMF

Sappho fragments

Come to me now, then, free me
From aching care, and win me
All my heart longs to win. You,
Be my friend.

Stand up and look at me, face to face
My friend,
Unloose the beauty of your eyes.....

The Moon is down,
The Pleiades. Midnight,
The hours flow on,
I lie, alone.

These are three separate fragments from Sappho.

michigan womyn's music festival, michfest, mwmf

I've made nutloaf and savory casserole in the past couple of weeks.  I find the food at fest to be healthy and I enjoy some meals more than others, but I am generally so hungry they always satisfy.  Breakfast is scrambled eggs on Wednesday and Friday, scrambled tofu on Thursday, and huevos rancheros for brunch on Sunday.  Fruit, granola, the most delicious yogurt I've ever had, and peanut butter and tahini with bread are available every day.

Monday is load-in, and a light dinner of hummus, cheese, and salad is served with bread.  Tuesday lunch is cheese and veggie sandwiches, chickpea and feta salad, and tossed salad.  Wednesday I enjoy much more: cucumber and tomato and potato salad.  Dinner is Indian curry, basmati rice, steamed broccoli and of course tossed salad.

Thursday is waldorf salad and green bean salad.  I start missing meat today.  The salads are pretty crunchy.  Dinner is burrito night with Spanish rice and lots of fixins like cheese, onions, sour cream.  This is my least favorite meal, I think I'd like it if I did it more as a salad and less as a burrito.

Friday I start to get some satisfaction in the form of pasta salad, cause I miss the carbs!  Also, Tuscan white bean salad for protein.  Dinner on Thursday is one of my favorites:  Moroccan stew with banana yogurt raita and sesame kale.  I really love the kale!  I can't find it around here.

Saturday is carrot fantasia and cous cous for lunch.  Meh.  But dinner!  Penne pasta puttanesca, green beans, and tossed salad!  Fabulous!

Sunday is the huevos rancheros lunch, which I love.  Sunday night dinner is my favorite!  I've actually only had it once, when I worked a kitchen shift.  Savory casserole with sesame broccoli and of course tossed salad.

There you go.  The menu at Michigan Womyn's Music Festival.  Next year:  the Belly Bowl.